A letter to my son on his Fourth birthday

Dear Kiddo,

Today you turn four. FOUR!! I’m sure it’s the kind of thing mothers say every year to their growing children, but I just can’t believe how fast the years have passed! It seems like one minute ago you were standing in our living room, wearing diapers and trotting around searching for some thing known only to you! It’s like I think I have been always living with you, since I was born. It is as if we couldn’t imagine anytime when we were existing without your presence. Such intense is your presence in our lives that I feel what I would have missed had I not had you. Now every thought of mine revolves around    you and every plan I make is keeping you in total consideration. I still remember that as a young mother, so naïve at singing lullabies I used to make up my own and sing for you while rocking you to sleep  and you used to stare at me( with a doubtful expression) when I went on singing my own made up lullabies. And then I blinked and there you are total FOUR!

I still remember how freaked out I was to hold you in my arms, that I kept away from taking you in my hands for almost one whole day just to keep my little bundle from any harm due to  my mishandling. Now I guess I have the confidence of running your play school too!!

You have started having conversations with me and I honestly feel as if I am in the presence of a peer!! Such incredible memory you have that I sometimes have these guilt pangs which question me if I am wasting away the time of a genius in the making! May be I need to hook you up to some sport or craft where your skills are not wasted away!

Your school days have really taken off this year and a few weeks back you have subsequently discovered your new love (or addiction) for playing games on the computer and the mobile. Your love for Ben 10 has only grown in leaps and bounds and gotten so much on you that you have made me mug up the names of all the aliens! I always used to think Cartoon shows meant only  Tom and Jerry but then you changed my whole view and now I am very well versed with every dialogue the cartoon characters say by twisting their mouth in 100 different ways. I realize that you have a heart of gold when you wanted me to feed the cats hovering around our house rather than  feeding you the milk and setting curd, which is your all time favorite.I was almost in tears when you said to your papa that “mama loves this song, please don’t change”  when a song from Aashiquie 2 was being played on TV! I couldn’t have asked for a better baby!!!

Today you are 4 and I know in 10 years you will be 14 and I will feel like I just blinked again and POOF! You are grown!! But please know this my son, of all the things I hold dear, more than anything I possess, I treasure these small moments that turn into days that turn into years and ultimately memories. They are my treasures and I am so thankful that you were added to our lives.

Happy Birthday!

Mamma

Monsoon in vizag!!

I'm not sure where to begin..which is exactly why I haven't updated this blog  for sooooo long.But may be this lovely weather out here is making me write again .....guess the season of monsoon is back.May be the only time in Vizag which makes you go quenching for more rains in this season.Monsoon, there's magic in this word.Totally associated with romance, rejuvenation of life and joy. It is the moment of madness, when love seeks love and life knows no death, and the music of the monsoon, the dance of the rain overwhelm our hearts.The intoxicating smell of first rains, crisp air and dark clouds rolling around the sky is just too overwhelming for me who loves the rains.May be because we get so little of the rains that we keep asking for more!! It even rained on the day of my wedding.I don't remember eating off the kadhais   but then it did drizzle a bit which I very happily welcomed.It was around this time of the year that I got married.Sometimes when I look at the albums and video I think I could have looked more better rather than the confused look which I wore in most of the pics. Well more on that in some other post coz the weather is really good outside and the poetic me feels like turning on some favorite songs of mine to feel the romance in the air.So off I go to my chores with some nice music turned on!!!  

of kids!!!

I couldn't help resist the urge to go back to this page on yahoo for recollecting the points over and over again.So,what better way to store this piece than my blog,so here it goes one of the good lists on upbringing.
1. Teach them to lose gracefully.
Kids who always win aren't going to be ready for the real world. Teach your child how to deal with disappointment. Let them see you try and fail while maintaining your composure.

2. Encourage perseverance.

Children need to learn to get back up after they fall. When you fall down, get back up and try again. Successful individuals are persistent people.
3. Be a constant presence.
Be there when your child needs help with their homework, a ride to soccer practice, or someone to talk to. The key to raising successful kids isn't an expensive present - it's your presence.
4. Cheer loudly.
Be your son or daughter's biggest cheerleader in whatever activities they choose. Don't point out their failings. Celebrate their progress, as well as their success.
5. Don't do it for them.
It can be tempting to help your child through the rough spots. Know your place. You won't help your child succeed if you do the work for them.
6. Try new things.
You'll never find your niche if you don't get out of your comfort zone and try something new. Encourage your child to try a new sport, read a new book, or get involved in a new activity. Be sure to let them see you do the same!
7. Nurture, don't shelter.
If you want to raise successful children, you'll need to walk a fine line between nurturing and supporting them and sheltering them from the real world. I wish I had some magic way of knowing which side of the line I'm treading on, but the truth is that you just have to trust your gut with this one. If you shelter your children too much, success will be so much harder to come by in life.
8. Play fair.
The old adage about cheaters rings true today. Remind your children (often) that fair play matters more than winning and losing.
9. Keep your cool.
Do you yell at the coach from the sidelines? Use obscenities to handle situations at home? Fly off the handle regularly? Keeping your cool inspires your kids to do the same.
10. Be the example.
If you want your child to succeed in life, be the example for them in all that you say and do. Children learn when we forget they're even watching. What did you teach your child today?

Monday Musings

 Okay!! Back to Monday Musings..Oho ho why cant we have another Sunday in a week.How can Sunday go away in a fraction of a second even before I have started to realise that it is a Sunday.But then, yes there was so much I did this Sunday(which I have been planning to do since ages,now you know how bad a planner I can be) apart from taking rest (not that I needed it,but just to have the feel of a work less day) and being pampered by hubby dear's sumptuous Prawns Biryani with Boondi Raita. So there I am, with all the energy gathered,  decided to plant two saplings, the first reason being  my two little saplings withered away due to the scorching summer heat accompanied by lazy maids negligence while I had been away to my mom's place for a short 8 day vacation (yes,only 8 days(puts a sorry face : ( ).So this time I decided that I will wait for the rains to shower and yesterday I have at last planted two little plants, a rose with 4 tiny bunch of roses and a Tulsi sapling which I got from the nearby nursery.So these are my little saplings which made my Sunday this time around.

 
 My kiddo's school started off and although me and hubby decided to go to the school and have a talk with the head mistress from where I planned to push off to my work.But then the Sunday outing had a taxing affect on me and as always I ran out of time, had to assign the kiddo's job to hubby and run away to office. After 3 long training sessions , now all I can ask for is some SLEEP.So let me be a good girl and hit the sack.Good night Dearies.

Woo Hoo !!! I am back!!

The curtain raises.....and here I am back ....hellooooo all ( if there are any ; ) ) I guess I have been away from the blog world for quite sometime now but then its okay,as they say its better late than never. But I am back again to something I have been doing since I quit (if this is the right word I could use) college.A bit of a large break I had taken to spend time with my baby, the kiddo.Not that I didn't enjoy the time with my kiddo,bah(who does not seem to want anyone else when I am around).It's that I wanted to do something more to what I have got used to doing now since 3 years.,So after a long break of 3 years I am back to my regular working life. (though I can't yet call it a full time job since I have opted for flexitime,but chalo its cool by me).
    So,here I am with a bang, back again ! yeah !! yeah !!Back to corporate world (Ahem,so heavy the word corporate sounds)!! Back to meetings,deadlines,Monday blues and only weekend outings.And with flexitime I couldn't afford to ask for a two day weekend like it was in my previous work place but then its great with what I have got.(still thinking at the back of my mind if I can make one/two  outings on weekdays too but the thought of getting late to work next morning put my thoughts in place) So okey!! can't risk myself for things which are not under my control.At least for the Log in Time recording thingy which welcomes me with a "oh! so you are on time" look. Not to mention the fact that the kiddo has got so much pampered in these vacations that he does not get up on time or he only makes it a point to get up just when his mamma is about to leave for office (making me swallow the guilt of leaving him unattended) or even when he wakes up, it takes a huge toll om my acha acha made up morning mood to freshen him up and feed something edible to him after which he decides to start sulking while I leave the house.But even that seems to be getting better now a days.
 Talking about the kiddo, I am really amazed at the speed at which he is catching up with things.I am surprised at his excellent memory and observational skills.He is also able to recall incidents which go into the purview of long lost and forgotten past according to me.Truly amazing with a mother who could not afford to remember what her hubby gifted her on her last birthday(which by the way was in April!!) Aaargh !!!
I can't seem to remember significant things while my kiddo has got exceptional memory skills.Well,it's all in the genes you see ( okay,don't give me that look). So things are going pretty fine at my home front except for a few hitches here and there which include forgetting to get  the clothes over the terrace till they got completely drenched in rain,the kiddo getting all messy in his baby oil tube which I seem to have forgotten to hide it from him and not attending to the doctor's appointment after having fixed it in one months advance.Rest is fine excepting these chotey chotey issues.
 Today will mark my first monthasary at job not to mention the fact that my first assignment was a complete disaster much to my amazement and delight (ha ha ha).And surprisingly a series of assignments followed it which I should say went well by my benchmarks(of course, I don't regard the other sides opinion here,My blog ya!!)So all goes on well until I find out that the LAN has gone off,Internet gets disconnected  and my system,my precious system keeps hanging from time to time( bangs her head on the keyboard!! yes, go ahead, feel sorry for me).But, the one positive soul that I am, I started reading a book on stress management and with all that gyan downloaded (takes a bow and says) "What ta beautiful life this is "!!




The curtain raises.....and here I am back ....hellooooo all ( if there are any ; ) ) I guess I have been away from the blog world for quite sometime now but then its okay,as they say its better late than never. But I am back again to something I have been doing since I quit (if this is the right word I could use) college.A bit of a large break I had taken to spend time with my baby, the kiddo.Not that I didn't enjoy the time with my kiddo,bah(who does not seem to want anyone else when I am around).It's that I wanted to do something more to what I have got used to doing now since 3 years.,So after a long break of 3 years I am back to my regular working life. (though I can't yet call it a full time job since I have opted for flexitime,but chalo its cool by me).

Just do it...in 10 minutes

Wasting away hours and hours of our precious time and frittering away the most productive years of our lives in the name of social networking, Page 3 paper reading and chatting has become a norm of our day to day life. I think Internet has got that fascinating power which can churn hours and hours of our life in the name of mindless surfing. Internet perhaps is the only God above Gods which can make us sit for hours and then before shutting down makes us feel if we have done anything at all to call it a day. For once and all I wanted to turn these habits upside down and give my life a productive way of living by using small chunks of my time in doing things which are productive as well as satisfying. I have taken 10 minutes for every activity I wish to do for the day and then when the clock strikes 10 I put off the work and get on with other activity. And hey people it worked for me & I am sure it works for you too!!!

The first reason why it works is, we don’t feel the burden of having to devote a large part of our time. We settle for as less as 10 minutes for the prescribed task and zap, it is done. Leave it if it’s not done in 10 minutes .But chances are you don’t want to stop at 10 minutes, you might want to go ahead and do the whole task. So that’s the icing on the cake. If you don’t find the enthu continuing, you possibly don’t want to do it in the first place.

But 10 minutes chunk of time can transform your life if practiced daily.

Mastery of anything begins with 10 minutes of intense focus, followed by another 10 minutes and so on.

Let’s challenge ourselves to get focus on working in 10 minute chunks:

• Write that long put off article today
• Make that forgotten telephone call today
• Meditate and discover the inner peace within yourself
• Take a walk and look how beautiful the world is around you.
• De clutter you inbox today
• Remove all those unwanted stationery and files on your table
• Finish off all  that boring stuff you always wanted to do but were never able to put your time into
• Read your kids favorite bed time story today
• Get one cupboard /shelf decluttered today
• Practice anything which you have always wanted to

There is so much routine stuff you can get done and out of the way in simple 10 minute chunks – and then you can clear the deck for the real creative stuff.
Or better still; get started with the real creative stuff whilst you are fresh.

Ten minute chunks is definitely doable and a good way to start small and get more done.   

We often get sidetracked online with reading nonsense at times. Adding a 10 minute break in there too would be helpful.:)

Best way of avoiding getting side-tracked online is to close all your browsers windows and tabs – or better still just physically disconnect from the internet!

you can start developing a new mindset that concentrates on optimism and constructive changes, and begin eliminating the ones that influence your actions, emotions, and thoughts in a disadvantageous manner.

According to Parkinson’s Law, work expands to fill the time available for its completion. Give yourself one day to complete a one hour task, and the task itself grows ever more complex and daunting as it expands to fill the one day time allocation. Complex and daunting because the time spent in between doing the task and completing it in the time allocated inevitably gives way to gnawing irritation and stress. So time – and simplicity – can be gained by completing tasks (which fit into your goals) in 10 minute chunks and by reducing to minimum time-wasting routines. 

And relying on 10 minutes chunks is so much better than multi tasking.

And just know that you never need to struggle again with focusing on tasks – just give the task attention in 10 minute chunks and you’ll have finished the task in no time at all :-

You can also remove all the negativity we carry around by adding up 10 more minutes to our work life by eliminating

• Reading junk papers.
• Mindlessly surfing gossipy websites
• Checking inbox incessantly
• Following social media updates
• Toxic conversations with friends or co-workers

And hey today is the 10^th of May so lets get started with the 10 minute chunk in our lives from today itself!!!

Edited to Add: It was 10th when the post was drafted and got over to 11th when posted (smiles sheepishly)

Attitude of Gratitude

The message of being thankful for what we have and showing an attitude of gratitude works wonders when practiced in daily life.I have been getting this message very often these days.May be I needed to accept the thought of gratitude as a part of life and be really thankful for whatever little I have in life.I seriously feel that the real secret to a happy life is being content and thankful with whatever one has.And as the law of attraction works things fall into place and only the good happens to the person with such a thankful attitude.We often feel that a person's existence fills up our hearts with a positive energy and somebody else's might reflect all the negativity present in the world.It only happens when the person is not content with whatever he/she is having and living an unsatisfied,still to get kinda life.
So the key to happiness in GRATITUDE.Period.No matter how little you have by outside standards, no matter how unconventional your life is, no matter whether you are where you thought you'd be by now. Learning to have gratitude for what you have at this very moment is (I'm realizing) the most important thing you can learn to do.

So I'm asking myself daily,

Do I know how lucky I am?

And the answer is...yes. Sometimes. And sometimes no.(I'm working on it.)

So, its all about the folks we know, who have pretty much been handed a great life--spouse-wise, financially, good kids...you know, lucky ones. And the killer part is that they don't even seem to get to know how fortunate they are.
Very unfortunate at that.

But again the discussion at other people being lucky is something which is totally against the whole idea of gratitude, but then it's OK having imperfect discussions every now and then.

Parenting - in bits & pieces

The only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children are those who’ve never had any.’ ~Bill Cosby

It really takes a lifetime to understand what’s going on the kiddos mind. Going through scores of books, material on the net, getting tips from all the apparent agony aunts and here I get back to the crossroads where I constantly keep worrying about the kiddos eating habits, his throwing tantrums over silly things and also cant keep myself from amazing at the love and warmth I get from the chubby cheeks & dimpled chin. Sometimes I get to the edge of losing my temper and feel that may be this was a heavy price I am paying for having a child and I can’t stand a minute when he is out for a simple ride with his papa. But then again I am loving this experience, the whole experience without any expectations of being a mum and yes, again I am loving this small little cho chweet kiddo to bits and pieces. This fulfilling experience of being a woman is something which can only experienced when one gets to teach the roots of life to another little human being. But this whole thing has given a new meaning to both our lives. There were times when I was struggling day in and day out to lessen the stress levels I was going through being a new mum and here I am totally carefree and glad that its all a “learn as you go through it” process. So its all experience that really teaches you how to be a stress free parent and be a guilt free parent life( which I was going through for most part of kiddos below 2 years life given the fact that he is a fussy eater)

So, leading the stress free parent life thing isn’t one that I’ve learned completely. I’ll share what I’ve learned so far, with the caveat that I don’t always follow the Way, that I still make mistakes daily, that I still have a lot to learn, that I don’t claim to have all the answers as a parent.


• When a stressful time arises (and it will), learn to deal with it with a smile. Make a joke, turn it into a game, laugh … you’ll teach your child not to take things so seriously, and that life is to be enjoyed. Breathe, walk away if you’ve lost your temper, and come back when you can smile.
• Lead by example because no matter what I advise the kiddo he wouldn’t pay 2 hoots to it but then seeing us and trying to imitate our activity has taught him most of his basic lessons. Be it brushing right after waking up or not drinking cola or table manners, he has learnt a lot by seeing us. So always lead by example, never advice.
• Take every opportunity to teach kindness and love. It’s the best lesson.
• Do not worry about about the child’s eating habits. He is more in touch with Mother Nature than we are. So respect his taste buds and let him choose what to eat. You can play the role of an advisor, who gives him a chance to choose from different veggies.(All thanks to Rujuta for making me guilt free about this one thing!!)
• It is often the child’s behavior which is disliked. So differentiate the fact that it is only the behavior/attitude which you dislike in the child but then again the child means the world to you come what may. So show the difference and the kid understands the fact in due course of time.
• Be calm, smile, be kind, go outdoors and be active.
• Repeat repeat and repeat at least 100 times. Children are novice to learning things so give 101st time a shot to try if the child hasn’t learn through your teaching him 100 times. Be patient.
• Kiss your child goodnight and ready a story to him every night. He might not totally understand but the story telling thing will reap benefits one day as you will see his imagination, vocabulary and word power increase by the day.
And be thankful for the bundle of joy god has gifted to you. Give thanks for another amazing day with your beautiful, unique, crazy child.

Adarsh Bhartiya Nari?

I came across this Hindi poem doing the rounds on FB a couple of weeks ago.Whoever is the poet,his idea of an ideal Indian woman goes something like this!!

*** आदर्श भारतीय नारी (??) ***
*** Ideal Indian woman (??)***

सर पे सिंदूर का “फैशन” नहीं है,
No sindoor is applied because they think it is not the fashion.

गले मे मंगलसूत्र का “टेंशन” नहीं है !
They want no tension of wearing Mangalsutra

माथे पे बिंदी लगाना “आउटडेटेड” लगती है,
They think wearing a bindi on their forehead is outdated

तरह तरह की लिपस्टिक अब होंठो पे
सजती है !
Various types of lipsticks now beautify their lips

आँखों में काजल और मस्कारा लगाती हैं,
They apply Kajal and mascara in eyes

नकली पलकों से आँखो को खूब सजाती हैं !
They enhance their eyes with artificial eye lashes
मूख ऐसा रंग लेती हैं की दूर से चमकता है,

they make their face up in ways that it glows from afar

पर्फ्यूम इतना तेज की मीलों से महकता है !
Perfume so strong the air is fragrant for miles

जो नथ कभी नाक की शोभा बढाती थी,
The nose-pin which enhanced the beauty of their noses once

आज होठ और जीभ पे लग नाक
Is pinned on the tongue or lips now

को ठेंगा दिखती हैं !
And cocks a snook from there.

बालों की “स्टाइल” जाने कैसी -
कैसी हो गयी,
What a variety of hair styles

वो बलखाती लंबी चोटी ना जाने
कहाँ खो गयी !
That long braid- where is it lost?

और परिधान तो ऐसे “डिज़ाइन” में आये हैं,
And attires have come in such designs

कम से कम पहनना इन्हें खूब भाये है !
They prefer to wear as little as possible

आज अंग प्रदर्शन
करना मजबूरी सी लगती है,
They feel compelled to expose their bodies

सोचती है इसी मे
इनकी खूबसूरती झलकती है !
They think that is the way to look attractive

पर आज भी जब कोई भारतीय परिधान
पहनती है,
But even today when she wears an Indian outfit

सच बताऊं सभी की आँखे उस पे ही अटकत हैं !
I will tell you the truth, every eye is attracted to that!

सादगी, भोलापन और शर्म ही भारतीय
स्त्री की पहचान है,
Simplicity, innocence and shame is an Indian woman’s identity

मत त्यागो इन्हें यही हमारे देश
का स्वाभिमान है !
Do not reject them, these are our country’s self respect!

यदि अब भी हम सोच रहे है कि ये आने
वाली माताएं हमारी आने वाली पीढ़ी में
‘भगत सिंह या नेताजी’ पैदा करेंगी, तो हम
गलत सोच रहे हैं,
If we are still thinking these future mothers in coming generations will produce Bhagat Singh or Netaji then we are thinking wrong,

पश्चिम की नक़ल करते
करते हम पूरी तरह अंधे हो चुके है……

Aping the west has blinded us completely….

जो अब
लाइलाज बीमारी का रूप ले चुकी है……!!

It has now become an untreatable illness….!!!
॥ ईश्वर इन्हे सद्बुद्धि दे ॥

II May god give them wisdom II
जय हिन्द, जय भारत !!

Jai Hindi, Jai Bharat!!

MY TAKE ON THIS POEM :



1. Braid or no braid, totally depends on the convenience of the wearer.If she is comfortable in short hair,doesnt mean she has no values whatsoever.

2. We cannot lay down the rules as to who should wear what and what not! As long as a women in comfortable and decently carries the attire she is wearing then its okay letting her being herself,since a lot of this depends on her tastes,attitude,income bracket and the life and times of the woman.

3.Simplicity and innocence are like any other attributes any human posseses.Why rub these traits exclusively on the women.Some are simple while someone else may be complex: some are innocent and others might be assertive and independent.

4. I think today's women are juggling among tens of roles, being so much more than what she was during Netaji or Bhagat Singh's days.An independent and confident woman undoubtedly breeds the finer set of human reproduction.

5.The west has not only blinded women,we have,in all terms been aping the west.Much more now since the world is getting smaller day by day.Therein lies the word "tolerance" which unfortunately the poet does not seem to have.


Rather than stressing upon the ADARSH NARI syndrome wouldnt it be better if we thought more about THE ADARSH HUMAN be it nari or mard.

Perfection ...what is it ??

Winter is fast setting in.The evenings are getting faster by the day.A sign of relief for all the people here who are living so close by the equator that we dont actually know how spine chilling can the winter coldness be. I have found this cute poster a few days ago and the most difficult points are the fourth and the fifth ones.
1. Love each other : Ofcourse, it goes without saying that nature has this inherent policy woven in itself which taught us to be loved, we need to share love.Its same like " smile and the world smiles back at you" How true!
2. Don't lie : I cannot, even if I try to
3. Keep communication open : Cent percent true for any of the relations where you want to see the relation growing.It doesn't matter even if you are all pally pally without speaking much but the real magic of a relation surfaces when the ice breaks through.Yes communication and a lot of it really works.Very much.
4. Stay sweet : Okay, as long as you okay with your life's philosophy staying sweet is fine.It actually helps.Helps in getting along with others.But staying sweet always ...is it possible in real terms ??
5. Forgive and forget : Not actually possible.If it were so easy, our lives would be so smooth and happy.May be we can just put aside the bitter thoughts but forgetting literally doesn't happen.
6. Never talk about break ups : Just like its waste to fret over a broken vase, its futile to rerun the relationship memories which were never intended to be.
7. Never say ok when its not : A bit contrary to stay sweet, but in the long run saying a clear no speaks our mind and we are at peace.
8. Pride breaks down people.
9. Saying sorry without actually meaning has become a "chalta hai" thing for everyone and it has actually lost its true sense of the word.
10. Comparing past with the present is like trying to fit into a pair of jeans in your ninth month of pregnancy which you actually bought in your high school.
11. Don't talk about your ex's : Lets not!
12. Give and take process : Philosophy of life.Nothing comes for free.
13. Beware of feeling : Rather than being aware we need to respect each others feelings.
14. When you had a fight... be the first one to talk and patch up.( since you know you are the best of the two)
15. Perfection has no bench mark. Right attitude always wins.